The Three Little Elements - A Fairy Tale

THERE was an old sow with three little pigs named Hydrogen, Holmium, and Dysprosium. She had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune. The first that went off, which was Dysprosium, met a man with a bundle of straw, and said to him:

'Please, man, give me that straw to build a house.'

Which the man did, and Dysprosium built a house with it. Presently came along the wolf, Nitrogen, and knocked at the door, and said:

'Little pig, little pig, let me come in.' To which Dysprosium answered:

'No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin.' Nitrogen then answered to that:

'Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in.'

So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew his house in, and ate up the little pig.

Holmium met a man with a bundle of furze and said:

'Please, man, give me that furze to build a house.'

Which the man did, and Holmium built his house. Then along came Nitrogen, and said:

'Little pig, little pig, let me come in.'

'No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin.'

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in.'

So he huffed, and he puffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and at last he blew the house down, and he ate up Holmium.

Hydrogen met a man with a load of bricks, and said:

'Please, man, give me those bricks to build a house with.'

So the man gave him the bricks, and he built his house with them. So Nitrogen came, as he did to the other little pigs, and said:

'Little pig, little pig, let me come in.'

'No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin.'

'Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in.'

Well, he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed and he puffed, and he puffed and huffed; but he could not get the house down. When he found that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down, he said:

'Hydrogen, I know where there is a nice field of turnips.'

'Where?' said Hydrogen.

'Oh, in Mr. Fluorine's Home-field, and if you will be ready tomorrow morning I will call for you, and we will go together, and get some for dinner.'

'Very well,' said Hydrogen, 'I will be ready. What time do you mean to go?'

'Oh, at six o'clock.'

Well, Hydrogen got up at five, and got the turnips before the wolf came (which he did about six), who said:

'Hydrogen, are you ready?'

Hydrogen said: 'Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice potful for dinner.'
 
Nitrogen felt very angry at this, but thought that he would be up to Hydrogen somehow or other, so he said:

'Hydrogen, I know where there is a nice apple tree.'

'Where?' said Hydrogen.

'Down at Merry-garden,' replied Nitrogen, 'and if you will not deceive me I will come for you at five o'clock tomorrow. and get some apples.'

Well, the little pig bustled up the next morning at four o'clock, and went off for the apples, hoping to get back before Nitrogen came; but he had further to go, and had to climb the tree, so that just as he was coming down from it, he saw Nitrogen coming, which, as you may suppose, frightened him very much. When Nitrogen came up he said:

'Hydrogen, what! are you here before me? Are they nice apples?'

'Yes, very,' said Hydrogen. 'I will throw you down one.'

And he threw it so far, that, while the wolf was gone to pick it up, the little pig jumped down and ran home. The next day the wolf came again, and said to the little pig:

'Hydrogen, there is a fair at Shanklin this afternoon, will you go?'

'Oh yes,' said Hydrogen, 'I will go; what time shall you be ready?'

'At three,' said Nitrogen. So Hydrogen went off before the time as usual, and got to the fair, and bought a butter-churn, which he was going home with, when he saw Nitrogen coming. Then he could not tell what to do. So he got into the churn to hide, and by so doing turned it round, and it rolled down the hill with Hydrogen in it, which frightened Nitrogen so much, that he ran home without going to the fair. He went to Hydrogen's house, and told him how frightened he had been by a great round thing which came down the hill past him. Then Hydrogen said:

'Hah, I frightened you, then. I had been to the fair and bought a butter-churn, and when I saw you, I got into it, and rolled down the hill.'

Then Nitrogen was very angry indeed, and declared he would eat up the little pig, and that he would get down the chimney after him. When Hydrogen saw what he was about, he hung on the pot full of water, and made up a blazing fire, and, just as Nitrogen was coming down, took off the cover, and in fell Nitrogen; so Hydrogen put on the cover again in an instant, boiled him up, and ate him for supper, and lived happy ever afterwards.