TDA - Protactinium's Request

Whoa! This time the RADIOACTIVE elements are asking me to make stories!
"Imagine all the teams are gender-bent when they wake up. How would that be?"
Oh my goodness, this is so funny.
One day, in the Mercury Thermometers' cabin... everyone was snoring. Suddenly, Neon wakes up...except he's different this time!
Neon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm a GIRL!
Neon screams, waking everyone up.
Neon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Everybody, look! I'm a lady! Oh my goodness...YOU ARE LADIES TOO! Also, Iodine is a guy!
Iodine: WHAT!? Oh no... I resemble Strontium now! Cute, yet devious firework person!
Bismuth: That doesn't change food patterns!
Iodine: Good. Well, I hope Plutonium's habit of blowing up stuff isn't...
(BOOM)
Iodine: Nope. Plutonium still blows up stuff, like Strontium.
Calcium: Great. Now Potassium will diss me even more!
Iodine: Potassium is scary, that's for sure.
Neon: NOW NEODYMIUM WILL TRY TO MARRY ME! That's the worst!
Mercury: Why am I a girl now!? Is it because...
Neon: Somehow, it all happened overnight!
Yttrium: Cool! I'm a female hippie now!
Selenium: And I am a female cow-liker now!
Neon: NOTHING has changed about them now...
Iodine: True. Selenium still likes cows...
Calcium: Selenium, want to do some cow stuff together?
Selenium: YES!
The Magnesium Fires...
Uranium: I'm a GIRL now! A freaking GIRL! How am I supposed to look cool today? And even worse, Thorium probably will diss me off because I look like a girl!
Curium: Relax, relax Uranium... At least, I get to become Pierre Curie now.
Uranium: Pierre Curie!?
Curium: Yes.
Magnesium: Go! I'm a girl athlete now! Isn't it amazing?
Curium: Yes.
Magnesium: Now I'll be the best GIRL athlete now, embarrassing Scandium...
Ytterbium: AAAAAAAAAAH! I'm a girl! And now everyone will laugh at me!
Uranium: Ytterbium!?
Ytterbium: Yttrium became a bigger hippie, too!
Uranium: Oh, dear!
Ytterbium: And also, I think EVERYONE'S affected by the gender-bend! So, I think Thorium turned into a girl too!
Uranium: NO, NO, NO! Everyone's now a girl!
Lutetium: Welcome Lutetium, king of your team!
Uranium: Lutetium was previously queen... now that Lutetium became a he, he's now the king. I hate it already.
Cadmium: I'm going to be a fancy painter now, instead of a pretty painter! Isn't that even more amazing?
Lutetium: Yes, it is!
Magnesium: And I'm a girl athlete! YES!
Tellurium: Wait, how about me!?
Magnesium: Asian men!? WHOA.
Tellurium: I know... I'LL SCREAM AT YOU!!!
Magnesium runs from the cabin.
Carbon Diamonds...
Strontium: Am I... am I... A GIRL!? Girls are stupid though!
Rubidium: I'm a guy now...I look sexier than before! I am bolder than before! Welcome to Rubidium v.2!
Strontium: Unfortunately, I'm a girl now! I'd have to get pregnant and then produce babies! Also, I can't play with fireworks the way I liked to because I have WOMANLY CRAMPS and ETERNAL BLEEDING! Isn't that agonizing?
Rubidium: Strontium!
Strontium: I'm going through puberty... and I can't play with fireworks anymore! My chest has gotten bigger, and they get in the way!
Carbon: I'm now female... I'm enjoying it so far. Let's play a song to celebrate!
Lanthanum: I'm not fancy anymore...or handsome... but I'm pretty now! You see, Lanthanum, also known as ME, is prettier now!
Europium: And I'm a French girl now! How great I look!
Lanthanum: I know! Isn't it wonderful? Except I'M prettier!
Europium: And I think what Strontium just described was RIGHT. I'm experiencing eternal bleeding on my beautiful pants! And I have a girl part! OH, NO!
Strontium: Dear lord...
Fermium: According to this, I'm probably experiencing some shock. WELL I'M SHOCKED TOO!
Rhenium: I'm a girl now! How beautiful I look, how much of Iodine I look like...
Fermium: SHUT UP RHENIUM, WE DON'T CARE!
Helium: Ah, this new female body... It's so pretty, and I get to relax even more!
Rubidium: As the lone male of this team, I'll hate this...
The Iron Curtains...
Nickel: NO! I can't believe it! I'm a guy! Guys look much less sexier than girls!
Iron: How dare you! At least I still have my sword powers!
Cobalt: I'm a big guy now. I'm going to kill you both!
Iron: Cobalt's even more annoying than before.
Nickel: COBALT'S ANNOYING, THAT'S FOR SURE.
Bromine: It's a wonderful world! I'm now a girl, and I'm liquid! I'm still liquid, I just look like a female!
Nickel: BROMINE IS EVEN MORE ANNOYING!
Terbium: Great! I'm a nerd girl now! What's worse is that I'm a GIRL! I'm having periods now! I know all of this because I'm a nerd! If you want to stop having cramps, eat foods rich in potassium!
Nickel: Yes, Terbium...we get it.
Francium: And I'm ALSO a girl! THIS IS AGONY!
Terbium: Why?
Francium: I have BOOBIES!
Nickel: I miss my sexy boobies... now this girl consists of not-so-sexy ladies!
Iron: SHUT UP!
Thulium: Oh my goodness, you're right! Being a girl IS wonderful! Except, I don't want to show my breasts to you anymore! They're WOMAN parts! Help turn me back into a MAN!
Iron: NEVER! We don't know how!
Thulium: WE!? It's just me, Iron!
Iron: I'm much more girlier now... help, please!
Cobalt: Iron is complaining about how girly she is now. LET'S GO!
Iron: NO! Unless you want to face the fury of RUSTY TITANIUM SWORDS!
Cobalt: FINE!
Rhodium: How beautiful I look! Not only am I shiny, I'm a female now! Females are the prettier ones!
Nickel: Just shut up already, Rhode Island.
Rhodium: YOU SHUT UP! I can't face it when I bleed through my pants!
Terbium: They're called periods. Every woman has them.
Rhodium: AW, NO!
The Silicon Chips...
Silicon: I'm a GIRL! How beautiful I look! I'm going to text all my friends about my magical transformation!
Zirconium: I'm a guy! Yet, I need to find my diamond! I STILL WANT A DIAMOND!
Molybdenum: I'm a STRONG guy, and I'll beat you up if you try to steal a diamond!
Zirconium: A DIAMOND CAN BE MY LIFE!
Molybdenum: Yes, Zirconium...
Mendelevium: Mendeleev, MARRY ME!
Zirconium: Oh, dear... now Mendelevium can marry Mendeleev...
Platinum: Ooh! I'm a girl now! So I can get coins now! Zirconium, will you collect coins with me?
Zirconium: Platinum... you never asked me this! YES! YES I WILL!!!
Zirconium and Platinum skip off to find some coins.
Americium: Whoa, I'm a girl now. I look like a cute girl! I still wander around everywhere...
Radium: Girls are beautiful! I'm a girl now!
Americium: Stop being girly, Radium!
Radium: I love being a girl though! I can scare away the guys!
Americium: Uranium is also female.
Radium: ...
Technetium: Look, I'm a female X-Ray doctor!
Radium: NO, NO, NO!!!
The Copper Coins...
Gallium: Great. I'm a female! I'll never be calm again!
Germanium: Relax. At least I don't have to be perverted again.
Gallium: Yeah, people used to look at you all the time when you came out of the shower...
Germanium: Especially that one person I don't even wanna mention... Zinc...
Copper: Oh my goodness! I'M A FEMALE NOW!
Germanium: CHANGE THE COLORS, PLEASE!
Copper: Thank god! We are not the Silicon Chips! Anyways, I'm a girl now! I hate it so much...
Germanium: Copper, you look so BEAUTIFUL.
Copper: Thank you! I always look beautiful...
Germanium: So...
Copper: Excuse me, I'm a true witch now! I practice witchcraft, making me a witch! Except I was a guy back then! Now I'm a female, and I'm a witch now!
Germanium: Dang it!
Gallium: Ah, you're really scaring me!
Chlorine: I'm now male too. Please, there are too many girls and too little guys!
Barium: HEY. New Molybdenum around here. Now, shut up and stop dissing the girls or I'll KILL you.
Chlorine: (gulp) okay...
Copper: Krypton is reading a book, like usual.
Krypton: SUPERMEN IS REAL!
Copper: Because I'M Supermen, remember?
Krypton: Copper?! You're SUPERMEN!?
Copper: NO! I'm a witch though!
Krypton: (screams)
Gadolinium: I look like a really weird girl now... this music! This beautiful music is beautiful!
Krypton: Everyone is over exaggerating their female or male qualities now. I'm not! I'm still the same Krypton before, only a male!
Gadolinium: Nice.
Barium: OKAY! Stop talking about the gender change or Copper will turn you into something you won't like!
Copper: And I WILL do that, if you continue bothering us.
Gallium: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Gallium faints.
The Zinc Supplements...
Zinc: Yes! Now, not only Copper will stop bothering me, but I can sing like KE$HA NOW!
Scandium: I'm going to be the best female baseball player now! Take that, Magnesium!
Lead: Being a really big girl makes me even more scared... oh, I want my Lanthanum Flower back!
Neon walks in their cabin.
Neon: (sighs) Everybody turned into their opposite genders now... I have to experience having a period now...
Zinc: WHAT!? Me too!
Scandium: Oh, stop talking about the Lanthanum Flower and periods!
Lead: Thank god I'm not on it right now! I hate this already!
Astatine: I'm the lone man on this team. I am classical.
Radon: Shut up, Astatine.
Astatine: I'm female and I like it!
Radon: If you don't shut your mouth this instant, Astatine...
Astatine: PIANO MUSIC!
Radon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Polonium: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
Radon: POLONIUM'S ANNOYING!
Polonium: RADON'S ANNOYING!
Radon: SCARE AWAY ALL THESE IDIOTS, OKAY?
Neon: This is terrible. Goodbye.
Just as Neon leaves, Copper walks in.
Zinc: Copper, since when were you a girl!?
Copper: OK Zinc. Sing your girly song now.
Zinc: Don't stop, make it pop! DJ blow my speakers up, tonight, Imma fight...
Copper shoots a magic ray at Zinc. Zinc runs away, thankfully, and screams at Copper.
Zinc: I HOPE I'M DREAMING!
Copper runs away for the sake of her life.
Zinc: Never knew he was THAT weak...
Manganese: Oh my god! Anime girls! I'm an anime girl now!
Zinc: ...not exactly.
Manganese: BOO HOO! Manganese is not a manga girl! YES, I AM!!!
Zinc: Shut up already Manganese.
Tantalum: How about me too!?
Zinc: Are you becoming Niobe?!
Tantalum: No! I'm Girl Tantalus, not Niobe! Niobe is a guy too! Stupid Zinc.
Sodium Salts...
Sodium: AAAAAAAAAH! So embarrassed... Potassium will tease me instead of Calcium!
Holmium: I now can party like a girl!
Thorium: URANIUM'S GOING TO SCARE ME EVEN MORE!
Uranium walks in.
Uranium: YOU'RE A GIRL!? AAAAAAH! EVERYBODY TURNED INTO A GIRL!!!
Thorium: Uranium! How do you feel in your girl body?
Uranium runs away.
Holmium: Let's party!
Oxygen: Before we do it...why is Sodium a girl again? Better question is... Why are we ALL girls!?
Holmium: I don't know. Oxygen, I can see your breasts.
Oxygen: I know! I usually sleep naked! Can you also see my girl part?
Holmium: ...yes. Oxygen, you're COMPLETELY naked.
Oxygen: (screams) I'm being as creepy as Nitrogen now!
Neptunium: I'm a girl! LET'S SING!
Oxygen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Neptunium: Oxygen, your boobs are also showing.
Oxygen: NITROGEN'S CREEPIER THAN THIS, I SWEAR!
Oxygen crawls under the covers.
Thallium: I swear, being a man is better than this!
Fluorine: My hair is burning even MORE! Help, please!
Xenon: I'm a manly robot now. Let's dance!
Holmium: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
Lithium Batteries...
Iridium: Whoa! This is GREAT! Instead of being nature's daughter, I'm nature's son now!
Lithium: NOOOOOOOO! I'm a man too, and I have to be one of those Japanese ninjas now!
Iridium: Honestly, you don't have to be one.
Lithium: Good. Because I don't WANT TO BE one.
Iridium: Now...
Samarium: I'm a guitar girl now! This is AWESOME!
Neodymium: And I'll get to love Neon even MORE!
Samarium: Neon is a girl too, Neodymium.
Neodymium: YES!!!
Dysprosium: YES!!!
Silver: I'm a sexy dude now!
Iridium: I'm a handsome man! A rainbow man to be exact!
Beryllium: Nice. Being female isn't that great anyways.
Lawrencium: Can I be a girl scientist? Can Girl scientists use cyclotrons?
Beryllium: Yes, Lawrencium. It doesn't matter what gender you are. Also, I'm suffering cramps...
Samarium: Me too...
Iridium: Thankfully you don't have to suffer them anymore.
Samarium: And my breasts are too big! They're like a D-Cup or something!
Iridium: YOU DIDN'T NEED TO TELL ME THAT! I already know by seeing it!
Samarium: ...
Silver: I'm a sexy man, Iridium!
Iridium: Whoa, you are a sexy man Silver!
Silver: Gold is going to be not precious anymore!
Iridium: You're true!
Phosphorus Matches...
Vanadium: Scandium just LOVES being a girl. I have to suffer all through this! I miss my female traits!
Potassium: Oh, I'm cramping already... I'm on my period, Vanadium...
Vanadium: Yes you are, Potassium. Are you doing to stop picking on Calcium now?
Potassium: My cramps are preventing me from picking on Calcium!
Vanadium: Okay... my cramps prevented me from building steel crafts. Now, I can do it all the time!
Potassium: Nice. I get to pick on the girly Calcium now!
Vanadium: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T!
Potassium: I lied.
Vanadium: Typical Potassium...
Arsenic: I don't look like a Disney beauty anymore. I wonder how this happened?
Vanadium: We got gender-bent.
Potassium: I HATE IT ALREADY! Come on, arrest them!
Rutherfordium: Wonder how Phosphorus, country girl is reacting like...
Phosphorus: IT'S TERRIBLE! Sulfur probably will diss me off now!
Rutherfordium: Sulfur is still sleeping.
Nitrogen: Great. Now, I look like an Indian version of Oxygen.
Rutherfordium: That's nice. I'm a female now! You can call me ruthenium-two!
Nitrogen: I'd rather go sleep again. I miss my breasts...
Oxygen: (off-screen) Well, people are making fun of my breasts already!!! You shall be lucky that you look like me now! YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!!
Potassium: Those are MY type of insults, Oxygen! Stop taking them!
Nitrogen: Those weren't even insults. Also, looking at Oxygen's breasts would be cool. She wasn't wearing a shirt?
Potassium: Oxygen always sleeps naked.
Nitrogen: Oxygen will return being serene once she finds something that covers up her big breasts.
Potassium: ...
Tungsten: I am a girl now!? A girl wolf warrior! Sounds cool!
Potassium: I HATE THIS ALREADY.
Gold Jewelry...
Gold: I am a gold girl now! I am very Egyptian looking like, and Silver will be jealous!
Cerium: I know. I am a guy now, and I think my cooking will be better.
Gold: It will, I promise you.
Palladium: Oh dear, I'm a male British warrior now!
Gold: It's okay, Palladium.
Palladium: It's NOT okay! I liked being female!
Gold: Well...
Palladium: Gold?
Gold: I'm god!
Palladium: NO! You're being like Iridium!
Gold: What do you mean "Iridium?" The nature freak, or just iridium?
Palladium: ...
Californium: I'm pretty sure everyone's gender-bent. Now, let's impress Xenon! I hope Xenon falls in love with me...
Palladium: NO, Californium. A robot dude won't fall in love with you. I heard the Sodium Salts are partying with female Holmium now.
Praseodymium: Oh, how male I look now... I'll be a male painter, like Cadmium. I like art. Do you?
Palladium: Yes, we do.
Erbium: Be quiet, I'm still snoring.
Palladium: Erbium, you changed a lot.
Erbium: What do you mean?
Palladium: You're a man.
Erbium: I knew that already.
Palladium: Oh.
Erbium: Pink is too girly for me now. So, I decided to go with hot pink jewelry!
Palladium: ...
Cerium: (claps) Nice, Erbium!
Erbium: Thanks, Cerium!
Promethium: ...
Tin Cans...
Aluminum: Whoa. I'm a man now.
Chromium: And I'm a girl greaser! How beautiful I am!
Aluminum: Are you on your period?
Chromium: What do you mean?
Aluminum: Are you bleeding from your...
Chromium: ... OH GOD, YES! It has been BOTHERING me!!!
Aluminum: Here are some pads, Chromium.
Chromium: THANK YOU ALUMINUM!!!
Tin: Aw, this is so cute! I am even cuter, because now people can consider me an anime girl! Yes, even that Manganese on the other team!
Indium: AAAAAAAH! I'm a guy now!
Chromium: Nice to know, Indium...
Indium: At least I don't get to look girly while I scream anymore.
Chromium: Nice, Indium.
Ruthenium: Hello. I'm the devious Ruthenium, who is now apparently a guy. I still get to be friends with you, you know. You, Chromium, are sexy.
Chromium: ???
Argon: Hello. I am Argon, who is a girl...
Chromium: Argon, you're a girl too. I know that.
Argon: I look very pretty, right?
Chromium: Yes.
Argon: Also, Krypton didn't change a bit.
Chromium: Even if Krypton is a male?
Argon: Yes.
Nobelium: ...
Aluminum: ...
Indium: ...
Ruthenium: ...
And finally, the Osmium Pens.
Osmium: I am a pretty girl now!
Berkelium: Wow, you look like George Washington's wife!
Osmium: You look like Californium's husband.
Berkelium: CALIFORNIUM'S A GUY THOUGH!!!
Osmium: It seems everyone has been gender-bent.
Berkelium: Isn't californium attracted to Xenon already?
Osmium: Yes.
Berkelium: You have been gifted by Berkelium. Ah, isn't it nice... I'm a man now. I can still study my science! I'll be the new Einstein!
Niobium: I know the equation of how we got gender-bent.
() + ( + ) - + ( + ) = and combined with and .
Einsteinium: The Niobium equation?
Berkelium: It's called "..."
Cesium: Nice. Want to know something?
Hafnium: You're a girl, and I'm a guy?
Cesium: Not just that... I'm a K-Pop band now!
Hafnium: Oh, dear. Well, Zirconium is coin-hunting with Platinum now...
Boron: Nice.
Hydrogen: Isn't it cool? Oxygen is a girl now, like me!
Boron: Oxygen hates it.
Hydrogen: ...
Einsteinium: Who is the new Einstein again?
Berkelium: Me, female Einstein. So, let's study together!
The End...