Written by Titanium. (Can't believe I died in the FIRST installment.)
Dead Already: Krypton, Beryllium, Technetium, Oxygen, Titanium, Thulium, Gallium, Gold, Antimony, Cerium, Americium, and Rubidium.
Main Characters: Vanadium, Molybdenum, Niobium (according to Indium)
Cobalt was sleeping, when his friend, Copper wakes him up. Cobalt tells him that they took Gallium! (Gallium was taken yesterday.) Rhenium stated the obvious by saying we slept next to a volcano. A VOLCANO!
Cobalt wonders where they are. Iridium reassures Cobalt (and calls him a radon by the way). Radon mistakes Iridium's insult for his name and then tells Iridium that "he doesn't know."
Iridium tries to run out of the box, but he gets glassed. IN THE FACE. Sulfur laughs at Iridium's misfortune. Iridium's nose was still broken. How dumb was Iridium in that part!? Iridium's COMMON SENSE, hello! Tellurium realizes it's a glass box. Iridium thinks it is.
Tellurium rages out and calls them "Erbium heads" and "Erbium lovers." Osmium asks "Why Iridium, not Tellurium?" Iridium states that he's the youngest of the group other than Nickel.
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| Are you SURE that's not Tin who's the youngest, Iridium!? |
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| I lied. I am 0 years old. |
Hydrogen states the obvious. The glass is made out of silicon and oxygen. Silicon misunderstood and thought the glass was made out of "Silicon and Oxygen." Tellurium makes up an excuse by saying Iridium stole your diamond. Silicon gets angry at Iridium, and Iridium was INNOCENT. Stupid Tellurium, blaming innocent people.
Germanium, unfortunately knew about Vanadium's piece of metal. Vanadium cries that it was his only piece of titanium. Vanadium you can get more pieces of titanium HERE. I am TITANIUM. vanadium's dumb.
Osmium said that it wasn't his anymore. Vanadium seems to treasure his piece of titanium more than our LIVES! Chlorine said "If you don't want to be the new Iridium" (Chlorine and Vanadium probably will have conflict now) "Just hand that titanium so we can get out!"
Vanadium tells that Titanium is REALLY rare. COME ON, TITANIUM'S EVERYWHERE! I THINK THIS MANSION HAS TITANIUM! I AM STILL TITANIUM! Vanadium's dumb, like I said.
= DUMB!Iridium FIGHTS Vanadium just for that goddamn piece of titanium. Wow, Iridium would fight just for a piece of ME!? Vanadium tells Iridium that he'll probably play with it until Dysprosium tells that it's 6:59. Oh, by the way, an element's gonna die.
Fluorine tells that "Silicon's silicon" (I have no idea what that is) isn't precious after all! I think after Fluorine's random outburst, I think Fluorine's gonna die.
Iodine spots that the time is 7:00. Never mind, Iodine's gonna die. Vanadium reassures that they're safe in the glass box since Dmitri's Mendeleev won't be able to get them. Germanium still wants Vanadium's piece of titanium. The titanium flies out of Vanadium's hand, HITTING TELLURIUM. Indium (out of nowhere) says "Well, throw that" before Indium was interrupted.
What Indium could have said was to throw that Titanium. Vanadium grabs the titanium. Germanium is scared that they will suffocate. Suddenly a phone breaks through the glass! I wanted it to hit Tin!!! Indium gets hurt instead. Iridium doesn't care about Indium's condition, though.
Wrong about Iridium, he ISN'T common sense. He's just funny, because he shoots insults at Indium. Indium's currently my favorite. What is yours?
Iodine grabs the phone and then reads "Fluorine can die in a fire." So, I was right about Fluorine. Bromine calls Iodine a halogen (Iodine is a halogen) and then apparently Cesium had magical powers. When Cesium sang the songs to "Meet the Elements," elephants ran over everyone, everyone teamed up (Vanadium didn't like being with Germanium, Germanium being the same), and then asks if someone could kick Sulfur's face (Iridium did the favor).
Cesium tells it to all reverse except for the Iridium part. When Iridium calls Cesium a Molybdenum, Molybdenum suddenly TALKS. It seems that Iridium CAN summon people. Molybdenum said he couldn't talk because he was so boring. Boron said it was true.
Molybdenum turns NOT boring by reading a biology book! By the way, what happened to Fluorine? Well, Niobium gets disturbed at Molybdenum's reading of the biology term "sperm." Molybdenum continues reading the biology book, until Niobium shoves the book into Molybdenum's FACE. Thank you Niobium. THANK YOU.
Iridium just says something random. Dmitri's Mendeleev shoved them into a fire. A FIRE. Wow, killing off EVERYONE this fast!? HYDROGEN! Let's just skip this part.
Vanadium somehow drags everyone to this bedroom. Unless Vanadium has like 90 arms, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. Vanadium complains that he's the target. Vanadium doesn't know WHO is targeting her until Germanium stares at Vanadium. The text read...
"GERMANIUM PERSISTS."
Oh my god, that was the funniest text ever! Vanadium TOTALLY deserved that after failing to hand over a piece of TITANIUM to Germanium to let them ESCAPE! I hate Vanadium right now! FOR FAILING TO HAND OVER A PIECE OF TITANIUM!!! VANADIUM'S THE WORST!
Okay, Vanadium isn't the worst. Where the hell is Nickel? Is Nickel DEAD!? DID SOMEONE KILL HIM WITH COPPER? No. Nickel isn't dead. But man, Nickel's GONE from the group! I see Tin, Hafnium, even Vanadium, but NOT Nickel! WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BITCH!
That text scared Vanadium (GOOD) and Tin said that font was not needed. Vanadium calls Tin "francium." Francium tells that Tin is a sin. Francium isn't Christian though. I'm gonna shoot you Francium. Yttrium tells everyone to STOP with the religious jokes. It's 7:00 AM! GODDAMMIT! Wasn't it like 7:00 AM ONE HOUR AGO!? AFTER FAILING TO HAND OVER A PIECE OF TITANIUM! VANADIUM'S THE WORST!
Yttrium said that Vanadium volunteers. YEAH. Take Vanadium instead, because all he does is piss you off by not handing over something that probably would have made them get out. NO! I hate Vanadium now. Yttrium shoves Vanadium. They're in a bedroom! Iron tells them to shut up, because they could have written "Iridium can die in hell!" Indium isn't Christian. Damn you Indium, stop making religion a part of this. Iron said that he meant IRIDIUM, not Indium. Goddamn Indium's dumb as Vanadium. Iridium said that the bedroom was meant to fit 98, Californium's atomic number.
I'm pretty sure Iridium meant 91, since 13 have disappeared. Goddamn Iridium, Indium, and Vanadium are all dumb.
Molybdenum wonders what happened to Curium. Cesium reads a phone note, and it turns out Curium was the one who disappeared. Vanadium tells Molybdenum that he's useless. Vanadium. YOU'RE USELESS. You failed to hand over a piece of titanium! That's why Yttrium chose YOU! Iodine gets pissed off after Niobium joked about her and Cesium being together. When Iodine pisses Niobium off again, Iodine gets KILLED because she was just PISSED OFF. Finally, a death NOT caused by Dmitri's Mendeleev. Wonder if Copper SECRETLY KILLED Nickel. Nickel has been MISSING all this action!
Indium finds a puzzle, and then Astatine says the MOST ADORABLE THING EVER!
"Let it be Tin work." ~Astatine
Tin is overjoyed that Astatine chose HIM. Wouldn't Nickel be JEALOUS!? Nickel is GONE! I miss Nickel already! Isn't Nickel like Tin? The puzzle piece unfortunately had everyone on it. Tin moves the Indium piece next to Lithium. Trouble pursues. Then, Vanadium grabs the recipe for tantalum.
Vanadium reads that tantalum includes pig poop, infected computers, the flu, and...vaginas! Just vaginas. Just how stupid do you have to be, Vanadium? Silver gets angry at Tin because Silver thought THAT was what Tin was trying to reveal. Goddammit Tin! YOU'RE EVIL!
Okay, Tin is probably going to get mass-murdered now. No wait! Something pops up! It's a key! Tantalum was killed. THIS THING IS ONE HOUR BEHIND. Vanadium insults Palladium. Molybdenum gets so annoying that Nitrogen calls Molybdenum "Hydrogen." Indium asks why Iridium is silent. You should ask why Nickel is silent, not Iridium!
Indium was RIGHT! Vanadium, Molybdenum, and Niobium ARE the focus! Great job Indium, I'm reducing the hate points for you and transferring them to Vanadium.
= 0 hate points = 9999999 HATE POINTSNiobium insults Molybdenum, and then Niobium expected Molybdenum to cry. Molybdenum had worse. Scandium was snoring, annoying Vanadium. Scandium tells Vanadium that HE HAS A RIGHT TO SNORE. Good job Scandium! Hafnium pretends to stab himself. Iridium figured out Hafnium that quickly.
Sulfur disappears. Iridium and Hafnium have conflict now. Iridium had a phone in his hand. It read "FUCK SULFUR." It was ANOTHER Twitter Tweet. They go to the recreational center to play WI Sports Resort (DIDN'T MISSPELL IT. Wisconsin Sports Resort, basically.)
Molybdenum and Niobium continue having conflict. Poor Niobium. Molybdenum is like Tantalus; Niobium is like Niobe. Well, except Molybdenum didn't eat Niobium's arm.
Niobium crashes into Thallium, who got really hurt but said "It didn't hurt." Thallium, you're humorous. They suddenly experience Wii Sports Resort in REAL LIFE! Surfboarding to be exact! It was WI Sports Resort for the Periodic Table U! Yttrium falls off his surfboard, and then A SHARK EATS BROMINE. Chlorine's really shocked after seeing those events, eventually starting the events of Day 2.
Chlorine starts crying in Astatine's lap. Chlorine, you just became the second worst. Vanadium IS the worst still.
Lutetium tells it to turn back into a bedroom. Chlorine is still sobbing after Bromine's death.
Chlorine then has his head hurt by a phone. Everyone takes a shower, even Iron. When iron takes a long time to shower. Chlorine senses something fishy.
Chlorine saw Iron getting raped by Dmitri's Mendeleev. Wow. Iron and Mendeleev are NOT good together.
Suddenly, the most annoying part of all is Neodymium and Neon's union!
I WILL HATE NEON AND NEODYMIUM NOW!
What. It's true. They dance for a long time, wasting their time. Holmium runs away because Neodymium and Neon's "Light Sign" dance was fucking annoying. They kept on saying "Magnet's Wire" until Neodymium and Neon sense something terribly wrong. Everyone was annoyed of Neon and Neodymium. Holmium ran away. Praseodymium tells Neon and Neodymium that they need to STOP for tonight.
Neon and Neodymium try to find the hiding Holmium. Then, Neon slips on some cum. Neodymium saw Mendeleev fucking Holmium in his knee by spraying cum all over it. Holmium was naked, and Mendeleev was enjoying it. Mendeleev then shoves his dick into Holmium's...ponies?
Neon brings Erbium really close to him, and Erbium was annoyed. Everyone was turned on. Look, do you see Erbium? I can see her nipples are poking through! SHE ISN'T WEARING A BRA! Nice one, Erbium. Nice one.
Neon is the Neodymium rip off. Barium goes to the owl section. They all sing the owl song to the theme of "Party Rock Anthem," and then AN OWL TAKES BARIUM! Oh yeah. By the way, Vanadium never talked again. After the argument about how Barium disappeared, Nickel FINALLY arrives!
WILL BE SHOT TO DEATH AFTER BEING INACTIVE FOR A MILLION YEARS.Nickel has FOUND the Dmitri Quarter! Nickel! That's why you were gone! Nickel, you've solved the mystery!
Then, why are there like 9 more installments of this?
Nickel trusts MERCURY. I told you, MERCURY. Nickel and Mercury will get MARRIED and then trust each other. I hate this already. AND I SEE A SAD COPPER. Nickel's back! Copper's fun time is over.
Nickel continues trusting Mercury until Dmitri comes. Dmitri stares at Mercury and then stabs Mercury in the heart. Dmitri steals the quarter from Mercury and then takes it back. AND THAT'S WHY! I hate you Nickel! I LIKED MERCURY! That's it! I'LL PUT ALL THE HATE POINTS ON YOU!!!
= 9999999999999999999999 HATE POINTS. I WANT IT TO DIE ALREADY.Copper wonders why they killed Mercury instead of Nickel. Copper's secret hate for Nickel maybe? Nickel told him that Mendeleev didn't know it was Nickel who had the quarter, not Mercury. How evil you are Nickel. They fall asleep in the owl area.
Stay tuned for more reviews by Titanium!
Most Favorite Character: Indium
Least Favorite Character: Nickel
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