Super Paper Idiots - Part 2

In Super Paper Idiots, each part has a certain country going through Chapter 6 of Super Paper Mario. The first country was Japan. Now, this time we're doing China!
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Chapter 6-1 - Sammer Guy Showdown
"Under the looming shadow of The Void, the world slowly drifted toward demise. But not all hope was lost: two Pure Hearts had yet to be found. Could our daring heroes find them? Or was the world doomed to be devoured? China and the Pixls ventured through the next door to find out..."
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The stage is drawn out to resemble a kingdom. China, Tippi, and the Pixls come out of the dark blue door.
Tippi: China... look at that...
Tippi stared at the HUGE void.
Tippi: The Void... It's enormous here... Much bigger than it is in Flipside... This dimension must be very close to destruction... We'd better hurry... We have a Pure Heart to find.
China: This is pretty interesting. It looks more fitting for Japan to explore, not me.
China goes through the door.
"I YIELD!"
Somebody runs up to the door.
"I AM ASHAMED!"
"Ahhhh... So you run, coward. You disgrace your family's honor. Another unworthy opponent... When will this "hero" of legend appear? Time is running out, and still he refuses to show his face!"
China walks up to his face.
"You stop now, China! You wear the clothes of a Chinese idiot. You must be, if you mean to challenge me!"
Tippi: He's not here to challenge you...
"So it begins. I am known as Jade Blooper, guardian of the 1st gate. Prepare for game over!"
China: NO!
China uses the power of kung fu to slice the Sammer Guy in half.
China: Wow. I'm shocked. I tried doing that to Japan but Japan used his katana against me.
"OH, SPLENDID!"
The king is shown.
China: A crown?
"Oh ho! What a performance! And what Chinese garb you drape yourself in, China!"
The king runs up to China.
"What a rousing spectacle of martial artistry, China!"
China: Really? I have been practicing kung fu when I was really young.
King Sammer: Your unusual fighting style brings me amusement to no end, China! As reward for your victory, I shall allow a glimpse of my treasure... Behold!
King Sammer takes out a pure heart!
China: A pure heart? Whoa!
King Sammer: Indeed, it is the pride of the kingdom! If you desire it, prove your worth by defeating my loyal vassals in a tournament!
China: Huh?
King Sammer: In our kingdom, there is a legend that has been passed down through generations. "When a great hole appears in the sky, the world will soon be devoured." The tempest in the sky grows larger by the day. It must be stopped! But the legend goes on. And so I shall continue a very dramatic reading... Ahem. "Only one thing can stop The Void: the great hero must be given the Pure Heart." Vassals, to me!
The 99 other Sammer Guys appear.
China: Easy. I can take down those 99 Sammer Guys. And Japan said he'd wish I was here right now...
King Sammer: Wow. Really, Japan? Anyways, these are my vassals. Should you beat them all, you will prove you are the true hero. Yes, I shall reward you with a Pure Heart if you best my other 99 Sammer Guys!
China: I will best them all. WITH KUNG FU!!!
King Sammer: Begone, Sammer Guys, and move to your tournament positions!
All the 99 Sammer Guys leave.
King Sammer: I'm sure I'll be on the edge of my throne throughout this thrilling tournament! I will await your arrival at the palace. The tournament has begun... Let skill decide!
King Sammer leaves the place.
Tippi: So, the king will give us a Pure Heart if we beat the other 99 Sammer Guys... You'd better get started. You have a lot of fighting to do.
China: FOR THE SAKE OF GOODNESS! Let's never waste a single second!
China uses kung fu to take down the first 9 Sammer Guys, when suddenly he sees a huge Sammer Guy.
China: THIS IS TOO HARD TO TAKE DOWN...
China slices that Sammer Guy in half.
China: Wow. That Sammer Guy wasn't hard at all.
China does the same to the other 10, until...
Tippi: The Void is growing larger, China! We have to hurry!!
"Hurry? Why not pause and savor the show?"
China: What show? You mean the one where I kill everyone with kung fu?
They hear something, but see nobody.
China: Hello?
Count Bleck appears!
Count Bleck: It is already far too late to stop...Count Bleck!
China: OH MY GOODNESS!!! Count Bleck! I SHOULD KUNG FU YOU!!!
Count Bleck: BLEH HEH HEH HEH! BLECK! The prophecy unfolds smoothly, thanks to the Chaos Heart. The light of each world will be snuffed out one by one...
Tippi: Why would you want to do something so...unspeakable?
Count Bleck: You QUESTION Count Bleck?! This worthless world's destruction matters not! Far better for Count Bleck to wipe it out of existence than let it remain!
Tippi: How can you say that? That's...horrible!
Count Bleck: Count Bleck scoffs at you! An insignificant Pixl lectures Count Bleck on what is right and wrong?
Tippi: This is not up for discussion! You're wrong...and sick! All living things have a heart. They're all priceless. You can't just...erase them!
Count Bleck: Of all things, you defend the heart? Nothing could be more worthless...
China: ...
He holds his hat over his face.
Count Bleck: All things...are meaningless. Aside from Timpani, no treasure mattered in the least to me...
Tippi: Timpani?
Count Bleck: ...Speak no more!
He spreads out his arms.
Count Bleck: This world is dying under the monocled gaze of...Count Bleck! But don't let that stop you from trying to find a Pure Heart you will never acquire! BLEH HEH HEH HEH! BLECK!
Count Bleck then leaves.
China: ...
China and Tippi continue on to the 25th room. China hits the star block to end the chapter.
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Chapter 6-2 - The End of a World
"With The Void encompassing the entire sky, the end of the world was at hand. The pressure was on for China to find all the remaining Pure Hearts. Would regal King Sammer be willing to part with his most precious treasure? Leaving an army of Sammer Guys in his wake, China stepped into the palace..."
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"Splendid! The heroes have arrived!"
King Sammer appears.
King Sammer: We received word of your nasty run-in with that despicable fellow Count Bleck. So the legends ARE true... Our ancestors truly did foretell these days!
China: That your world is about to be destroyed by a void?
King Sammer: You haven't defeated all of my 100 Sammer Guys, but the situation is grave... Oh, why not! Just for royal giggles. The treasure sits on the 26th gate. Go claim the Pure Heart you so richly deserve!
China: Thanks! But... isn't that a disruption to your culture? Aren't I supposed to kill those 100 idiots? But...okay.
China goes to the treasure chest and opens it. Instead of a Pure Heart... THERE WAS A BOMB!
China: OH MY GOD! IT'S NOT EVEN A PURE HEART! IT'S A-
The bomb explodes.
China: Oh, dear...
King Sammer: But... But... That explosion didn't even turn you black with soot! That totally didn't even hurt you at all! This stinks!
King Sammer teleports to China.
King Sammer: So you thought you'd just grab the Pure Heart? You guys are so dumb! Mimimimimimimimimi!
China: WERE YOU EVEN KING SAMMER IN THE FIRST PLACE???
Mimi: Fuck no, China! It's me, Mimi! You're so silly! Did you crazy heads think the king would give you the Pure Heart? The king's probably tucked all cozy in a bed taking a nap in the castle. ...Making cute li'l snoring noises while his world goes bye-bye!
China: Listen up, Mimi! I REALLY need time to get the pure heart!
Mimi: You're a dummy, China! The only reason I'm even HERE is to get in the way! I'm not all soft 'n' cuddly like the count. Nighty-night! It's bedtime for you guys! NYAAAAH!
China uses his kung-fu powers to reflect the Rubees and the Rubees hit Mimi in the face. China automatically wins.
Mimi: OUCHIE! That really hurt! You're just a big bunch of bullies who hit cute little girls! But it doesn't matter an eensy teensy bit, hee hee! Everything's perfect! ...What, don't believe me? Look up at the sky!
China: Oh, dang, that wasn't really a lot of time, wasn't it.
The place then rumbles, and the void EXPANDS.
China: ...
Mimi: Mimimimimimimimimimimi! Yep, I sure got you meanies to waste LOTS of your time! Guess you'll have to give up looking for that dumb Pure Heart now!
China: Mimi, were you just trying to stall us?
Mimi: Golly, you guys have really got your thinking caps on today, huh? Well, I did warn you that I was meaner than the count! Anyhow, it's sure a big old bummer I can't stay to play more with you guys. But this place is about to go kablooey! Later, meanies!
China goes through the next five gates, when suddenly...
"HA HA HA. We are doomed. It cannot be stopped. HAH HAH."
China: What's so funny?
"HAH HAH HAH. HAH HAH HAH."
The Sammer Guy runs away.
China: NO! This is the end... We have gotten so far... even though we're only at gate 30... I'm afraid this is the end...
The Void takes over the whole kingdom, completely obliterating it. This causes China to go back to Flipside.
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Tippi: Count Bleck... I feel like I know him from somewhere...
The screen fades in, showing China lying on the ground.
Tippi: Wait... I do! Or at least, I did! I did know him! But... How? And when? And who is he? I can't remember...
China: Who are you talking about?
Tippi: China... You realize...
China: Where are we?
Tippi: I'm a little discombobulated myself, so it's hard to say... At the very least, we seem to have returned to Flipside...
China: What do you think happened to the residents of the kingdom? And what do you think...happened to the pure heart?
Tippi goes over to the dark blue door.
Tippi: ....... The door leading to that world still exists, it seems... I wonder... Do we dare go back in... Yes. Yes, I think we should go back through...
They go through the door again.
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Chapter 6-1 - ???
China, Tippi, and the Pixls come out of the door, to find...
China: Where...where is everyone? I swear when I was here last time there was a colorful world! I can't show Japan THIS!!!
Tippi: Wait... I can feel something very faint, China! It's the Pure Heart! I can't believe anything is left here, but we have to go take a look.
China and Tippi go through the pathway with the remains of the world.
China: Oh, dear...
China saw the remains of the kingdom.
China: This is very dull and lifeless... it's only us too...
China continued looking.
China: I didn't want it to end like this...
China noticed some of the Sammer Guys running in fear of the Void. If they were still alive, that is...
China: Wow... those poor people... they have died... their bodies are still here, like they're still alive... but they're actually dead...
King Sammer and End Boss weren't screaming or fleeing. Instead, their heads were hung low as if they were waiting their lives to be over due to the void.
China: This is too cruel to see! I bet even PRUSSIA would find this creepy! Prussia Lukasiewicz! And he doesn't find things creepy... I want Poland to be back... and Sweden... and even... unbearably, I have to say... Russia...
China eventually finds the Pure Heart.
Tippi: China, what's that over there?
The pure heart had no power left in it.
Tippi: Could that be, China? It's a Pure Heart! It seems an impossibility, but somehow it survived the obliteration of this world. Something about it seems odd, though...
"Heh heh heh... This place is pretty bland now, isn't it?"
Mr. L: Hey, what's going on here? Looks like your Pure Heart got broken. I guess Pure Hearts can't handle the end of the world. Heh. But, eh, whatever. I'll swipe it just for kicks.
Mr. L takes the pure heart. China walks up to him.
Mr. L: Ahhhh...it's you. I couldn't miss that trendy Chinese outfit. Heh.
China: Look. I can take you down with my Kung-Fu tactics. YOU WANT TO SEE?
Mr. L: How about that Prognosticus! Anything the count doesn't like... POOF! It never existed. Look, I've got to run. Stay out of the count's business if you want to live.
China: I'm going to STOP Count Bleck! Now hand over the Pure Heart!
Mr. L: Still pushing for a fight? Fine. Who am I to disappoint? ...BROBOT LAUNCH!
The Brobot L-Type comes out of the wall.
Mr. L: Just check this thing out! This bad boy is sporting the latest in robotics. Meet my new friend... BROBOT L-TYPE!
China: Wow. That's lame.
Mr. L hops into the Brobot L-Type.
Mr. L: The Green Thunder strikes like lightning! Your "Kung-Fu" is really outdated. TAKE THAT!
China: IF YOU INSULT MY FIGHTING SKILLS...
China takes down the robot with his Kung-Fu skills.
China: You thought that was outdated? THINK AGAIN!
Mr. L: Awwwww, WHAT?! No way! My Brobot L-Type shoots missiles. Missiles!
China: Well, it doesn't do kung fu! It doesn't resist it either!
The bot blows up. Mr. L falls over, dropping the Pure Heart.
Mr. L: Preposterous! Why? Why can't I win?!
China: Maybe because you are easy to defeat?
Mr. L: GRRRR! You laugh now, but the Green Thunder never forgets!
He runs off.
Tippi: Oh, look!
She flies over to it.
Tippi: He must have dropped it when he ran off. But this Pure Heart, it's... it turned to stone... I don't feel any kind of power radiating from it. We'd better take it back to Merlon... He'll know what to do...
Tippi and Japan take the Pure Heart.
"You got a Pure Heart! Sort of!"
China: YES!
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"The destruction of an entire world was a great and terrible tragedy. But China had survived the cataclysm and found another Pure Heart. The end of that world had dulled the shine of the Pure Heart they had found. Was the Pure Heart's power lost forever? The heroes set out for Flipside to find out..."
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Russia is next. The next chapter is this exact chapter except with Russia in it.
I'll see you next time. It won't have Kenya X Swaziland...
Meanwhile...
HETALIA!