How to torture the elements.

How to torture the elements.

I know they all suck, so that's why we... kill them!

1. Tickling them.

Hydrogen: Okay, Vanadium, Lanthanum, Nickel, Cobalt, and Nitrogen...

Nitrogen: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO!?

Hydrogen gets out his army of hydrogens.

Nitrogen: Nice. Really nice.

Suddenly, the hydrogens tickle the elements!

Vanadium: TITANIUM'S! I HATE YOU! I'M ONLY LAUGHING BECAUSE I'M REALLY TICKLISH!!!

Lanthanum: I HATE YOU!!!

Nickel: Why me!? Why can't it be hafnium's mother instead!?

Cobalt: C-COPPER HEADS!!!

Cobalt punches Hydrogen's eyes.

Nickel: Whoa.

Vanadium punches Hydrogen's eyes and then storms off in anger.

2. Exposing them to Justin Bieber.

Hydrogen: Holmium and Vanadium, please watch this.

J'Uranium Strontium Tritium Indium-Bismuth (E) boron Beryllium titaniumu: AND-

(vanadium's jumped off a cliff.)

Holmium: Too Swedish for me.

3. Titanium.

Nickel: T-TITANIUM!? THAT'S A BAD WORD!!! (explodes)

4. Throwing Vanadium to Virginia.

Hydrogen throws Vanadium to Virginia.

Vanadium: NOT-SO-RICH' MOUND VIRGINIA!!!

The Virginians then proceed to behead Vanadium.

5. This picture.

HOLY HOLMIUM'S THAT LOOKS LIKE A PRASEODYMIUM WITH PIERCINGS AND LOOKS SO TEMPTING...(a random erbium melts)

6. Looking at old quotes and exploding over how stupid they were.

Molybdenum: HOLY HOLMIUM'S! Just because I'm the Missouri element, doesn't mean you get to make Gadolinium jokes!

Molybdenum: HOLY HOLMIUM'S! Just because I'm the Missouri element, doesn't mean you get to retype my lutetium's text!!! (explodes)
Vanadium: MOLYBDENUM'S WEAK...
7. Renaming yourself 
Vanadium: Hello Vanadium!!!
Vanadium: WAS THAT HYDROGEN!?
Vanadium: FROM NOW ON, REFER ME AS "Vanadium-tron."
Vanadium: Hydrogen's evil. I can sense it!!!
8. Cobaltu Iron's (good manganese title, right)?
Nickel: I haven't heard from Cobalt lately... it's upsetting,
Suddenly, iron appears!
Nickel: I-IRON! WHY ARE YOU HERE!?
Iron: TITANIUMU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The background changes into... more manganese!
Iron: Nickel...
Nickel: Nickel? Who's that? Oh, it's me!
Iron: nickel's cute... acting cute... in reality...it's...
TIN!?
Tin: Yep! wait... HOW MANY COBALTS ARE THERE!?
cobalt'1: prepare.
cobalt'2: to.
cobalt'3: die.
TIN PUNCHES MENDELEVIUM'S EYES.
More coming soon!